dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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