Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize