You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
