Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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