Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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