Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
