i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
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I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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