i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
