This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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