the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
love makes seman taste better
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize