The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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