There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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