3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
thus making me awesome and them whores
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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