i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
