My room smells like vodka and shame
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize