just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
