Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
