she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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