the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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