I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
