On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize