True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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