found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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