So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
