I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
