Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
