You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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