Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
