apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I could fuck to npr.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
