Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Randomize
