My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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