I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
