Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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