You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
