I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
