i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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