to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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