Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize