Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
