Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Drake has all the answers
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
