Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
