Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
