She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize