Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
