i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
