16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
