I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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