i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
