she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
