oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
