Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
