I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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