my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
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didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
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He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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