apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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