Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
