just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You were trust falling into bushes
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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