I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
