I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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