In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
