Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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