oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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