I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
