she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
