remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
