I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
