You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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