Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
